


How To Improve Already Perfect Lives: 2

by Merkey666



Series: Bandit au [2]
Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Adoption, Domestic, Family Fluff, M/M, Married Life, big announcement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 17:27:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13128318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merkey666/pseuds/Merkey666
Summary: Now is the beginning of the end for Frank and Gerard, and there's plenty still in store for them. Their search for a child continues...





	How To Improve Already Perfect Lives: 2

**Author's Note:**

> I was delirious when I posted yesterday's fic just fyi so here's today's... Part two of three of this story. (The only reason I decided to post them like this is so that I could post one each day instead of having to do more work.) 
> 
> Day 5!
> 
> Please let me know what you think, and this story is not over! The last part comes out tomorrow, so if you're following this story, hang on plz!
> 
> Let me know what you think! Plz comment I need validation

Despite Laurie’s odd previous affiliation with the two and their band, the three grew quite close over the course of all the visits. Time after time they’d met, and Frank organized some quite rashly, when he was feeling uppity. For Laurie, it was seeing the light in their eyes when she brought up having a child, and it was hearing the words being spoken out loud for the two men, that got a lump in their throats to rise. 

Mid-winter, however, Laurie came with some news. 

“Hey, boys!” she smiled, walking through the entry and hanging her coat up like she’d done the seventeen other times she’d been there. Frank waved from the kitchen, where he was nursing his third cup of coffee for the day. Gerard was on his fifth.

Neither had been able to sleep that night due to how nervous they were. Frank had finally gotten the message and resorted to going into the basement to play guitar until he passed out on his guitar. Gerard, who had tried desperately to fall asleep, hadn’t gotten the bright idea that he was out of luck. Frank had watched the sun set and rise, and he was ready to go. There was more caffeine pumping in the two of them combined than the entirety of the Starbucks kiosk at the mall. 

“So, how’s it hanging?” she asked calmly, trying not to aggravate any underslept minds. Gerard smiled weakly as he walked back over to the coffee machine, making another cup. Laurie took Frank’s shrug as her answer and carried on with her one-sided conversation. 

“I hope you two get enough coffee to wake you up, because it’s gonna be a long day,” she sighed, setting her briefcase on the kitchen island. Frank stared it down. Gerard kept his eyes, along with the bags under them, pointed directly at the coffee machine that was spilling a brown liquid into his cup. The coffee was a little dark, even for that morning, but he went with it anyway. 

“You two are gonna be bouncing off the walls soon,” Laurie chuckled, pulling a stool over and seating herself on it. 

“What do you mean by that?” Frank asked curiously, but with a hint of a reserved meaning. Laurie understood. He was nervous, and she couldn’t blame him. After all, she had called him as soon as the sun came up to tell that the results had come back in and she’d have their answer when she got there. She could only imagine their panic. 

Laurie chose her next words carefully. 

“With all that coffee you’re drinking,” Laurie snickered, opening her briefcase. Frank looked back at his mug wistfully. A sixth cup of joe in his hand, Gerard hobbled over, taking the seat next to Frank. He came very close to face planting in his coffee.

“...And because you guys got approved!”

Frank horked out his coffee, spitting all over the table, and Gerard nearly knocked his mug off the table. 

“We- what?” Gerard stuttered, reaching for Frank who was trying not to inhale his coffee. Laurie just smiled and pulled out the finalization forms. She almost slid them over to the two, but hesitated.

“Could you… not spew all over these, please? They’re very important.” Frank slid his chair back and turned away, trying not to cough up his breakfast in the mix.

Gerard tenderly took the papers, hands shaking, breathing unsteady. Those were it. The papers he’d stayed up all night for. They were in his very hands. He flipped over a page, trying to read or at least look like he was reading. All the words smeared together like paint, the ink ran down the page, the paper caught fire, and he was burning. Tears began to pour out to quench the fire, and with the amount of tears shed the fire was soon decimated. Frank returned, signified by a warm and wet hand on Gerard’s lower back. He took the slightly tear stained papers away from Gerard and held them for the first time. It was like a baby of his own, holding the papers that would surely put a real one in his arms some time soon. 

Gerard released the hand he hadn’t realized he’d clamped to his mouth and reached out for his husband, fingers slipping over his shirt until he’d pulled him close enough to hold. To be held. Gerard wrapped his arms around his neck and buried his face in his neck, gasping over small cries. Frank smiled at Laurie who was indeed tearing up as well. Gerard pulled away, not letting Frank go for even a second. After all the waiting and all the paperwork and even more waiting- that was it. And Gerard smiled the biggest of all.

***

Laurie’s last words of the morning were what kept the two from completely going bat-shit crazy. 

“Boys, you don’t have to thank me! Your reaction was enough. That’s why I do this after all. Seeing happy people get what they want most in this world and being able to cherish it? That’s golden. I’ll keep you informed. See you later, fellas,” Laurie smiled waving as she walked out. She was almost off the porch by the time Frank burst into tears.

~

“So…” Gerard lay on the couch, Frank on the floor, a fire in the fireplace, a layer of condensed happiness in the atmosphere. “What next?” Gerard asked rolling onto his side so his neck would stop hurting from staring. 

“Dunno.” Frank shrugged. Gerard laughed tiredly, kicking a pillow off the couch. 

“I’m surprised you haven’t memorized every step.”

“Oh, I have,” Frank said matter-of-factly, also slipping in a yawn. “I’m just… Too tired to remember them right now.” Gerard smiled and rolled onto his back, admiring the plain ceiling. It was a quiet, tired house, and it was wonderful. Days of worry and stress down the drain, and still more to come, but for those two, in that moment, everything was alright. That “moment” had lasted all day. They’d spent the hours curled up together, through smiles and tears and laughter. 

“I don't mean to ruin the moment, but-” Frank began.

“This moment has been going on for days, Frank,” Gerard chuckled. Frank’s lips twisted in a smile, and stayed that way, even after the feeling moved on. When people smile it takes up part of your concentration, hence why it never stays once you stop thinking about smiling. This time, however, Frank smiled whether he tried to or not. 

“I was going to say- before I was rudely interrupted -that we’re not out of the woods yet. I’m over the fucking moon that we got approved, all I’m saying is that… I dunno… Don’t get cocky, maybe? Ugh, that sounded much more lame and depressing than I meant it to. My apologies,” Frank groaned. While it did hurt to acknowledge the fact that yes, it was possible that things could still go wrong, whatever those things may be, it felt better knowing that Frank was harboring the same worries as he was. 

“I understand. Still…” he trailed off, suddenly beaming again. He covered his face with his hands to hide his blush as he laughed. It felt so good to be giddy again. Two months of worry and strife and finally, finally, there was some salvation. It hadn’t all been in vain. Not yet. Frank found himself once again staring at his beautiful husband, and deserted his spot on the rug for a better one. He crawled up onto the couch and laid himself behind Gerard. The other man made room for him and soon there was nothing else in the entire world but them. Or so it felt that way. 

There were a couple glorious minutes where they laid together, stomach on back, and were content with that. Often, one was either jumping up and down screaming, or doing a minimum of nine tasks at once. But right then, it was neither of those things. It was the calm after the storm, the rainbow, that beautiful, beautiful rainbow. 

Then Frank’s phone buzzed. 

He lurched up, swearing before he even opened his mouth, as he worked it out of his back pocket. He glared at the little screen, still swearing, while Gerard chuckled from below. Frank’s expression softened as his eyes went over the text (or whatever it was), again and again. Gerard took that as a sign that something, good or bad, had happened. The look on Frank’s face was so stoic and emotionless that it was impossible for Gerard to read, so he took the phone away gently and read it for himself.

It was an email. 

“Hey, Frank,

I wanted to congratulate the two of you one more time, before we dive right back in. I held off on sending this email for as long as possible, to give you both some time before the next big step comes along. This one is usually the most stressful of the lot, so I want to tell you from experience that all the nerve-wracking you’ll probably do over the next few days almost always pays off. Anyways, our next course of action will obviously be to meet a child, or multiple children, based upon the sort of environment you’ll present for the child. Unfortunately, any preferences I put into the report may not be factored in when finding you a child. This is a tricky process, and I wanted to give you both some credit for doing so well so far. It’s hard for any people to wait this long for anything they want as dearly as the two of you, so thank you. Your first meet with the child can be scheduled as early as Tuesday, so please get back to me on whether that works for the two of you. 

Best of luck,  
Laurie.”

Gerard passed the phone back to Frank and laid down on the couch, with a hand on his forehead and his heart practically flatlining. Frank snorted out an airy laugh and Gerard, with eyes closed, heard his phone clap as it hit the ground. 

“No kidding about the stress part. Tuesday feels like an eternity from now,” Frank hissed, covering his mouth with his hands. Gerard agreed silently, taking in everything he’d just read. He needed more time to process that. Tuesday.

“That’s in three days,” he whispered softly. He could hear Frank nodding. “It feels like so much longer than that.” 

“It’s technically four, if you think about it. Today is Saturday, then Sunday, and so on. Sheesh, this is even worse than before. We got, what? Zero hours of sleep and less than twelve hours to celebrate, and now this? Man… I swear, she’s trying to kill us.” Gerard shook his head, a tired and bitter smile on his face. The whole process was hell, but it was a hell that he somehow enjoyed. He took pride in being strong enough to make it that far, and that was enough for him, for the time being. 

“What’ll we do in the meantime?” Gerard asked, his lip just barely twisted up into a smirk. Frank looked over at him and raised an eyebrow.

“Hmm… Not sure. Got any ideas?” He cocked his head to the side and smiled at him broadly. Gerard pursed his lips, playing serious for as long as possible. 

“Well… I’ve got a few, I just-” Frank practically fell on him. 

~

The very next morning, when Gerard answered the door, tired but smiling, it was Laurie who greeted him. The look dropped off his face in a heartbeat and he nearly screamed. 

“What’s going on? Is everything alright?” he fumbled over his words. Laurie stepped onto the foyer, trying to calm his ranting with her hands. She wasn’t entirely sure he knew he was talking out loud. 

“Gerard, please. Everything is alright. I’m only here to give you the low-down. Generally when I send that email, the one from last night, couples need some time to celebrate and such. Sometimes they don’t. You two replied so quickly, and let me say, with some of the best enthusiasm I’ve ever seen, and I panicked. I have some things I need to go over before you all meet.” Gerard felt a weight lift off his chest and he physically crumpled a little. His shoulders sagged and he relaxed as he stood, which made his posture look a little bit more banana-like than it usually did.

“FRANK!” Gerard screeched. Laurie didn’t seem to mind. To Gerard, at least, Laurie began to feel more like a friend or advisor, rather than a colleague who was only there to make their dreams come true. 

Frank shot around the bend and, just as Gerard had, froze at the image of Laurie. Gerard smiled pleasantly at him, and he took a deep breath.

“Everything okay?” he asked calmly, walking over to the two at the dining room table. Both boys were still in their pajamas, and Laurie wasn’t too far off. Frank made a quick detour and grabbed a bathrobe before taking a seat next to Gerard. Laurie sat across from them and set her briefcase on the table.

“I know you two are impatient, but I’ve gotta lay down the rules first.” She spoke directly at Frank’s tapping fingers.

“The way this works is I look around the agency, finding kids that are closer by, before extending my reach farther. Your home-study will be sent around, credentials, yada, yada. Just for the time being, I cannot go out of state. Understood? This may change depending on how things simmer down, but for now we’re going to look locally. Sometimes that’s for the better, but, like most things of a similar hazy nature, it fluctuates. Clear?” she asked. Gerard nodded slowly. Frank stared at the table intensely. 

“If you want to look at our website for children waiting, feel free. The only downside is that in reality, just because you check out a profile, doesn’t mean that child will be yours. There’s a lot of factors that come into play, here. I’ll send over additional profiles of children that I feel will best suit your home and you can look over them, if you like.”

Frank took a moment to think about this. The amount of times he’d had to remind himself that there were no real guarantees in that range of business was uncountable. The only thing that routinely drew him back into focus was the hand on his, making sure he didn’t drift too far away. It had worked pretty well thus far. 

Gerard took that moment while Laurie was taking a breath and seized it. 

“Did you have to memorize that? Don’t tell me all of that is just you. There’s gotta be some manual, right?” he asked, his giggle spilling out. Frank elbowed him, in a ‘shut the fuck up, stop being rude’ sort of way.

Laurie snorted, “Are you kidding? You think I’ve got the man-power to come up with that all on my own?” She scoffed apathetically. “I had to write it on my arm for weeks.”

Gerard snickered under his breath, trying to keep Frank’s exasperated eyes off of him. As Laurie took another breath, Frank tapped harder, coinciding with Gerard squeezing his hand. By the looks on their faces, you’d have never known what was going on internally. 

“Now, it’s entirely possible that you won’t fall in love with the kid, or get along too well, and that’s okay. There’s more than a few kids on the list, since you two are perfectly capable adults who seem to care loads for children.” Gerard beamed and Frank was just about ready to cry.

“Thank you,” Gerard murmured. Laurie looked down at her papers and shrugged off the compliment. She was only trying to hold back the tears.

“Don’t thank me yet. Anyways, the first visit will be on Tuesday, if that still works for the both of you. Does it?” Frank stared at the table some more while Gerard nodded. 

“Alrighty then. That’s all I really have to say other than good luck! Oh, and I can give you the profile of the first child you’ll likely meet, if you would like me to. Sometimes last minute errors or whatever come up and you don’t end up meeting the child whose information I give you, so I don’t often off this up. But you two seem super eager and I thought I’d at least mention it.” Gerard and Frank took a moment to ponder this to themselves. Frank finally looked up from the table only to give Gerard a half look.

“As much as I really want to look at that file, I don’t think it would be a great idea for us. Frank can barely walk past a pet store without beaming at all of the puppies in the windows, let alone look at another child. I think we’ll pass. Thank you, though,” Gerard replied quietly. Laurie smiled and nodded. The quick visit came to a close as she packed up and began to leave. Frank caught up with her.

“Laurie!” He caught her by the front door. She turned and smiled at him. “Hey, sorry. I just wanted to ask… is the kid we’re supposed to be meeting a girl by any chance?” Laurie opened the file and held is precariously in her arms. Frank bit back the urge to peek over and read the file, and instead settled for watching her eyes as she read. 

Laurie looked back up at him. “Yup!” she popped the ‘p’, and bid Frank farewell. He waved and shut the door, shutting his eyes until he heard the motor of her car fade into the distance. He took a few calming breaths before even beginning the long and laborious task of opening his eyes. 

“Frank?” Gerard asked softly from the doorway to their bedroom. “Everything alright?” Frank took another breath and nodded shakily. The next thing he knew, there was a hand on his cheek and a forehead pressing against his, and all of his worries were no longer trapped in his mind. 

“Hey, hey,” Gerard whispered as tears began to fall down his cheeks. “Everything will be okay, Frankie. Everything is gonna be just fine. I know, I know, everything is so rough right now, but the stress will go eventually and all of the problems will go away and we’ll have the family we want, alright? It’ll be beautiful, I promise,” Gerard cooed. Frank sucked in a shuddery breath.

“I’m not okay,” he whispered. Try as he might, he could not longer say that phrase without cracking a smile at least. He was tired and anxious, but he couldn’t keep the stupid smile off his face. “God, I hate that song. It ruined everything.” He couldn’t keep himself from laughing. 

“I know. Trust me, I know,” Gerard giggled back. Frank opened his eyes.

“Was that a pun? Tell me that wasn’t a pun,” he groaned. Gerard only laughed harder- the the point where he had to step away because he was officially losing it. Some people dealt with stress by crying, others… not so much. Frank shook his head sadly, now exerting a mix between crying and laughing and not knowing what at all to do with himself. Gerard grabbed his hand in the midst of all of it, still laughing and feeling a little numb, and began to dance around him. Frank didn’t know what in the hell he was doing, but he was going along with it no matter what. Gerard started to sing I’m Not Okay of all damn things, and Frank felt a little bit better, despite how overplayed that song had become. It was still loveable, still one of theirs, and it was still fun, somehow. 

~

They did not spent all three days in that same manner, but when the anxiety got too overwhelming, it was a good little break. It kept the both of them occupied. Occupied enough to get some things done while they waited for Tuesday to come. Things like staring at the wall, and counting their silverware, and sometimes cleaning out their closets. Very important things, obviously. 

Laurie texted the both of them a reminder on the morning of, not that the two could forget to save their lives. Frank rushed to get ready while Gerard took possibly the longest shower of his life. This resulted in Frank screaming at Gerard when the time to leave came and he was still in the shower, and then Gerard grumbling at Frank when the duo arrived at the agency half an hour early. 

That was most likely the worst part for the both of them. Painfully sitting in the waiting room for half an hour instead of, per say, still showering or counting the amount of spoons in the dishwasher. Frank couldn’t decide whether he wanted to keep his eyes on or away from the clock. On one hand, it seemed to be taunting him when he looked away, but when he looked back it had barely moved at all.

Just when he was sure he was going to lose his mind, Laurie walked in, smiling bright with her clipboard in hand. Without a word, the two stood up nervously, awaiting her to beckon them forward. She greeted them kindly, then brought them into what looked like a second waiting room, which neither were too fond of. 

While Laurie began to give the opening speech Gerard suspected that all awaiting caregivers received, he found himself a little afraid. After dealing with Frank and his sudden paranoia, he’d had less time to go over his own worries, which wasn’t a bad thing by any standards. But it came back to him, all of it, at that very moment, and he got why Frank had had so many of those freak outs. He put on a smile to pretend he was as ready for this as he wanted to be, and followed Laurie as she walked them out of the second waiting room and down a significantly more cheery hallway. She talked as she walked.

“Before you meet her, it’s customary for your advisor, me, to give you a little background on the child. Her name is Bandit, she’s three and a half years old. She was put up for adoption by her mother when she was born, because the mother couldn’t handle a kid at that time. She doesn’t have any ailments that are worthy of noting, no allergies known of yet. Those could always pop up as she grows, so just be careful- with any kid.” Gerard and Frank walked like average adults but said nothing. Laurie was accustomed to this. They let it all soak in until they reached a tan door with windows in it. “Oh, and she likes to draw.”

Gerard nearly collapsed. 

“Alrighty guys! Are you ready for your first meet? She’s just in here, doing her thing,” Laurie was smiling nearly as bright as Gerard. Frank was too numb to be able to crack even the smallest of smiles, although he choked on air a little when he heard ‘she’. 

“Ready?” Laurie asked, shimming a little to show some spirit.

“No,” both said confidently. Laurie just laughed and opened the doors regardless. The room they entered was colorful, small enough to feel cozy, not cramped. There were walls with books, loads of chairs, a little plastic play structure, and don’t forget the Lego’s that would cause a hassle for any shoe-less being. The walls were striped pale yellow and an ocean blue, the trim a pale cream. Corkboard floors that were cleaner than expected covered the ground, and from the ceiling were small studio lights. Similar to the ones in their basement where Gerard worked- and kept them off most of the time. 

Gerard said it was because he worked better in the dark- Frank just thought he was a vampire. 2005 did a pretty good job of nailing that into his head. He hadn’t done too badly himself, though. 

At one of the small plastic tables, sat a small girl, looking no older than two or three. Her hair was short and brown, matching her eyes. Gerard let out a little gasp when she looked up. She was so beautiful for such a little girl. 

“She’s pretty, huh?” Laurie smiled, nudging them forward. Gerard’s shock stuck him to the spot, a polar opposite of Frank. His paternal instincts took hold and he calmly walked forward. The girl smiled shyly at him as he crouched down next to her. He began to admire her drawings, chatting her up calmly. All Gerard could see was the sparkle in Frank’s eyes and the way he smiled at her. There were few things that could correctly be called ‘meant to be’, but there was no doubt in Gerard’s mind as he watched the two interact, that this was one of those things.

Frank eventually noticed that Gerard was still rooted to the spot, Laurie chuckling as she tried to get through to him. The only thing that got Gerard out of his trance was the spin of the little girl’s head as she looked at him, her wide mousy eyes scanning him softly. She smiled at him. He smiled back at her.

~

The visit was invigorating, the girl seeming nothing less than perfect for the two of them. Laurie seemed to agree, despite how she reminded them that there were indeed no promises. Both Gerard and Frank gave the girl a hug before they returned home, but that was not all that she left with them.

“Best,” she smiled up at them. Frank sniffled and squeezed her tightly. Gerard waved and kept looking over his shoulder as he walked away. Just before he left the room, she bolted over to the two and handed them one of her drawings. It was a superhero, as she explained, and it was even signed by her. 

“It’s beautiful,” Gerard whispered, looking it over. Frank put a hand on Gerard’s shoulder and led him out slowly. Laurie met them once again in the entrance hall, congratulating them on their wonderful visit. 

“I’m not supposed to give you my opinion in case things go astray, but I've got a pretty good feeling about this. We still have a few more house check-ups, but then you two will be cleared and you will have a child placed with you. I noticed how nicely you two interacted with her, so do you two even want to meet any other children, or-”

“I think we’ll be fine,” Frank cut in. Laurie didn’t seem bothered by it in the slightest. She looked over her paperwork, what looked like notes, and some other assorted things and nodded along. She stacked them all neatly in her arms and beamed up at them.

“Well, then, in that case… I guess I’ll send a request to the district for her and we shall see! Once I put in the request, notes and paperwork included, it should take anywhere from a month to two months for it to go through. I’ll have them give you a call when the decision is made. She is who both of you want, correct? It’s a big decision to make, and I just want us all to be on board if we go forward with this.” Gerard looked at Frank. Frank looked at Gerard. Laurie didn’t even need a verbal answer. 

She nodded at them and allowed them to leave in peace. The two of them were quiet as they walked through the parking-lot, holding hands and pondering over everything that had happened. Frank plopped into the driver's seat and put the key in the ignition, already talking his ass off.

The drive went on for a few moments, before he noticed his husbands quietness that wasn't exactly abnormal for him, but it was the desired effect. At the first red light, he looked over. In the glint of the afternoon sun he noticed the tears steadily rolling down his cheeks. His eyes were red, and every few seconds he’d look another direction to keep the tears from falling. He wasn't doing a good job. 

“Hey…” Frank put one hand on his shoulder and rubbed in slow circles. Gerard shook his head and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, bottom lip quivering. The light turned and all the words that Frank expected to come tumbling out stalled once again. He continued to drive with one hand on Gerard and one hand on the wheel. 

“It’s just… she seems so perfect, and I don't want to imagine what would happen if we don't get her. It's completely possible that we won't, and then what? I have to put her behind me and fall in love with some other child!? I can't do that… I just feel like we’ve got so much with her already, chemistry, memories- I’m sorry. I'm rambling. She's such a sweet little girl and-” 

“Gerard?”

“Yeah?”

“We’ll get her. And we’ll have a big celebration party and she can meet all of her uncles and aunts and people who probably wish they were actually related to her because she’s so great. It will be okay, Gee,” Frank murmured. Gerard wasn’t very persuaded by that, but it would have to do if was going to get by in the following weeks. 

~

The call didn’t come in the first thirty days, like Laurie had said. Despite her warnings, Frank was a little let down. He tried not to show it, but when he disappeared to practice guitar, Gerard heard The Ghost Of You more often than not. Gerard almost laughed when he heard Frank strum the opening to I’m Not Okay, because oh, how accurate it was. 

Ten more days passed until Gerard too began to lose his marbles. Nights became sleepless, and he was running out of things to whispering in the midnight din. Frank had been sleeping poorly ever since the meeting, but this was all new to Gerard. He wasn’t a fan. And neither was Frank really, because when Gerard couldn’t sleep, he talked. And talked, and talked, and talked. Frank had tried to get him to shut up multiple times already that night and nothing had worked thus far. 

The, out of the blue,

“We should tell Mikey.” Frank was silent for a minute, to see if Gerard was kidding or not. 

“What?” he eventually asked. “Are you joking? First off, we don’t have her yet, so we should at least wait until then. Plus, if we tell Mikey, we won’t just be telling Mikey. He’ll tell his boyfriend, and then he’ll leak it to the press. You know it,” Frank intoned. Gerard groaned and rolled onto his stomach. He laid face down for a few seconds, until he turned his head to look mournfully back up at Frank.

“Ugh. Compromise with me here. We’ll tell Mikey tomorrow, and we’ll tell him he can’t tell anyone or I’ll cut him out of the will. Deal?” Gerard bargained. Frank laughed tiredly.

“God, fine. Just shut up, please. I need to fucking sleep,” Frank whined. Gerard chuckled under his breath and rolled over. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d overanalyzed his conversations like he was then, and had been for the past while, but for whatever reason, he was pretty sure that’s what was keeping him awake. 

He laid there for what felt like forever. Words kept tumbling around in his mind like a washing machine and then suddenly he was worrying about his washing machine. It had been making odd sounds lately. Sounds. Frank and his music. His music was sad because he was worried about Bandit. And right on back to Bandit lane he fell. He rolled over and tried the nineteenth angle to sleep in, and still, no redemption. It was eating him up that he’d basically ignored his brother for the past few months, not that his brother checked up on him unless they were touring or something. They didn’t keep tabs on each other like some siblings did, but it wasn’t like either were suffering from abandonment. 

Gerard jolted up and bolted for the home phone.

“NOPE!” he shrieked. “NOW!” Gerard raced out the door, kicking it closed behind him. By the time Frank got out of the bedroom, the line was already dialing. He watched Gerard from the hallway, a shameful and exhausted look on his face. It was only around 1 am, and knowing Mikey, he was probably still up. 

“Mikey?” Gerard asked as the phone picked up, and his voicemail did not play. 

“Mhm?” Mikey asked, an airiness to his voice, remnant of heavy breathing. Gerard listened to the quiet on the line for a second, trying to decipher what in the hell he was listening to, when it dawned on him. Oh. Gross.

“Oh. Should I call back? It’s no trouble, I don’t want-” 

“No, no. It’s fine. You called me at one am, it ought to be important. You were saying?” Mikey continued to pant from the line. Gerard really wanted to tell Mikey everything that had happened, but he also really did not want to imagine any more than he already had. 

“I know it’s late and I’m sorry about that, so I’ll make it quick but Frank and I…” Gerard held steady eye contact with Frank as he said the words. Frank shook his head in disbelief, a smile turning just the corners of his mouth up. “Are adopting! We got approved already, we met a kid, and now it’s all down to one final approval and then some paperwork! Sorry to bother you so late, especially since you were in the middle of… something. Anyway, I’d better-”

“No, no, no, wait! Gee, that’s fucking amazing! Hold on, talk to me! Gerard, don’t leave me hanging here!” Mikey yelped over the phone line. Gerard didn’t mind beaming because he knew no one could see him other than Frank, and after living together for so long, he did not care one bit what Frank saw. 

“Mm. I would tell you everything, but a) I can’t have you telling Pete anything at all until we get approved because we all know he’d go straight to Alternative Press and demand his twenty bucks for spying-”

“HE’S NOT A SPY!”

“And b), I think if I tell you anything else right now, you’re going to be leaving someone else hanging and, uh, I don’t think he’d appreciate that. Goodnight, or whatever, Mikey. Talk to you tomorrow.” And Gerard hung up the phone. Frank laughed as he shook his head.

“You’re an awful brother sometimes,” he chuckled, holding out a hand. Gerard slipped his fingers in between Frank’s as they scuffled back to the bedroom. “And an awful husband,” he added. Gerard couldn’t deny either of those statements, so he yawned and pretended that he didn’t care. 

The bed was still warm from when they left it, and both found it a whole lot easier to feel tired with the weight of the conversation over-bearing the weight of the phone call. Frank fell asleep quicker than Gerard, not to say the path to sleep was an easy one. He tossed and turned until eventually his body gave up on his mind and shut down. He was face down with his mouth open, one hand still reaching out for Gerard, even in his subconscious. 

Gerard, who had become increasingly concerned with the amount of words and phrases he’d been messing with, had not yet felt the luxury of sleep. Frank rolled over in his sleep and settled on his back. Gerard turned over to watch him, hoping maybe his own body would catch on. Frank’s expressions twisted as he dreamed, and Gerard thought it was one of the most wonderful things he’d ever seen. To be so out there, and yet still completely asleep and unaware of everything. 

When he finally thought his body was catching the drift, something clicked in his mind and he sat bolt upright. He dug through his bedside table drawer until he pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. With one hand he began to scribble out what he’d come up with while the other clicked on the small lamp next to him. There wasn’t a worry to be had about waking up Frank, who slept like a fucking rock. 

It wasn’t until around three am that Gerard put the pen down and looked over the mess he’d made. Tons of phrases that had been floating around in his brain could be spotted on the papers, along with melodies and actual lyrics. Gerard set the paper on the table next to him and clicked off the light.

As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, his worries became both inflamed and extinguished. He was writing songs again, he could understand that much. Songs meant band. Band meant album, maybe. Album (maybe) meant tour. Tour meant leaving your new family just like you did not want to do so early in and making your life a living hell for a few months whilst trying to adjust to the rhetoric of having a child, plus, tour meant tour. 

Gerard gulped before passing out completely. 

~

Gerard didn’t wake up until early afternoon. Frank had somehow refrained from playing nervous guitar, and when Gerard finally emerged like a bear in spring, he was pleasantly surprised to find the house quiet for once. Not quiet like Frank was eating lunch quiet, quiet like he was alone quiet. He took that opportunity to make himself some cornflakes, humming this and that while he worked. He could’ve gone and locked himself in the basement and worked, but something stopped him.

Was it that he was too afraid to start working on something creative in fear that it would spark some lyrics, and he’d fall back into the circle of actually being in a band? Eventually, yes, he would have to write another album, but he had expected to have some time to himself, some time to his family. His brain said otherwise. It was most likely the stress getting to him and manifesting in broken phrases and wordless poems. Regardless, it was fucking him up. 

Mid way through the meal, he got up to go get his paper from the previous night. Only, when he found it, it was a whole lot more than one piece of notebook paper. It was pages upon pages of words, phrases, things he’d like to put in songs. He didn’t remember writing half of it, but it all sounded like something he would write. He slouched over and slide down the side of the bed onto the hardwood floor. Had he done all of that?

It was too much for him to see, because the next thing he knew, he was crying yet again. All Frank had asked of him when they collectively decided to adopt was that he hold off on writing music. Gerard wasn’t mad at Frank for cutting him off from the one thing that always helped him vent, he was mad at himself. Not for being ‘weak’ or whatever other horrible things his brain could come up with, but now he was sad because he too wanted to do everything right. He wanted it all to be perfect when it came together, and in his eyes, the writing was his way of ruining all of that. All of the daydreams, since he got little to no sleep, were wasted. 

And then Frank came home. 

The door opened quietly, cautious in case Gerard was still asleep. Gerard scrambled to shove all of the yellow papers back into the drawer while Frank fussed with whatever he had gotten when he went out. Gerard slammed the drawer shut, breathing heavily.

“Gee?” Frank called from the kitchen. Gerard took a deep breath, wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve, and stood up. Pretending everything was perfectly okay, he wandered into the kitchen and watched the back of Frank’s head wander around the room.

“Yes?” he replied cheekily. Frank whirled around, a grin appearing almost the moment he laid eyes on Gerard. 

“Hey,” Frank whispered, waltzing over. He pressed his lips onto Gerard’s quickly, before zooming back into action. Most days were like that. Frank was Sonic during the day and a bat at night. There was no room for mediocre. Frank had almost gotten back to the fridge when something happened. He stopped. Pivoted around slowly. And walked back to Gerard.

Gerard tried to stand a little taller as Frank walked back over, looking him in the eyes. Frank knew he couldn’t lie if he stared hard enough. Gerard swallowed and waited for Frank to say something, anything. Instead he put one palm to his cheek and gave him a sad smile, a truly melancholy smile. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” he asked, in the quietest voice he could manage without his voice cracking. Gerard tried to look away, keep Frank from seeing the tears quicking forming in his eyes. Frank honed back in on him, drawing his face downwards until there was nowhere else for him to look. A tear fell onto Frank’s hand. 

“I-” Gerard stuttered. Frank’s eyes coaxed him onwards. “I started to write music again. And-and I know I shouldn’t because the timing is bad and it’s all wrong-” Frank shushed him before the sight got anymore pitiful.

“Music, huh? Gee, that’s what you do. You’re a singer, a writer, an artist, a husband, and soon, probably, a father. All these things come in moderation. Writer and artist both took their damn turns, so it’s musician’s turn, right? Isn’t that how these things work? And hey, don’t worry about the timing. Yes, it’s not great… at all… but if the words come, they come. So what? It’s not like you write a song a day and have the album out in a month flat. Everything takes time, and believe me, this will too,” Frank whispered. Gerard couldn’t quite get behind his sincerity quite yet. He looked away, popping his jaw and doing just about everything he could do with his face to keep himself from blubbering. He took Frank’s hand and pulled him towards the bedroom. Frank stayed by the doorway while Gerard strode over to the bedside table and began to pull papers out of it. The dumped the mass onto the floor in front of his feet and stared at it shamefully.

“When did all this happen?” Frank tried to sound calm, but there was definitely a note of shock in his voice. Not to mention the aftertones of mild disappointment. Gerard cleared his throat and took a breath.

“Last night, after the phone call. You fell asleep but I couldn’t… Not until I got all this out-” his voice squeaked and he cupped a hand to his mouth. Frank rushed over and wrapped his arms around his back. 

“It is okay,” Frank tried to stress his words to make it all feel okay. “Gerard, listen to me. If you think I’m mad, I’m not. I’m not mad, sad, disappointed, or anything like that. Yes, I’m a little worried, but that’s got nothing to do with you and your writing. I play guitar and freak out and all that good stuff, and if this is how you cope, hell, why should that bother me? You’ve put up with my bitching and moaning for so long. You can write all you want; why would you think I’d ever try to stop you? Let alone be upset with you? God, Gerard. And the kid? Well, life on tour isn’t that bad. We all have fun, don’t we?” Frank asked. 

“We’re all grown adults. She wouldn’t like it, she might have to st-stay with someone and we won’t even get to see her- This is all my fault,” Gerard sniffled. Frank honestly didn’t know what to say.

“Oh my God, Gerard. We don’t even have her yet, it’ll all be fine! She can stay with Donna and be backstage and after every song we’ll go back and tell her how much we love her and kiss her, and maybe when she’s older we can bring her on stage. I could teach her guitar, you can teach her how to paint, it’ll be fine. Think about it. Bandit the rockstar. What better a name could she have, honestly?” Frank snickered. Gerard’s sniffle got caught on a laugh and it sounded more like a gag.

“That is sorta true…” he giggled.

“Of course it is! Plus-” the phone rang. Gerard looked back down at the pile of papers on the floor and tucked his hair behind his ear. Frank tried not to stare, but the sight made his heart hurt. Gerard looked so truly miserable, worse than he’d seen him since the whole adoption thing got moving. But the phone kept ringing.

“That’s probably Mikey, for the ninetieth time today. He really wants details, but I told him to wait until you got up. Just to be an ass.” Frank didn’t hear Gerard laugh at his comment as he walked towards the home phone, which made his level of tolerance for Mikey got down about ninety notches. He picked up the phone.

“Hello?” he asked.

“Hi! This is Drew from the Los Angeles Adoption Agency. Is this Mr. Iero or Mr. Way?” Frank stopped breathing. He couldn’t imagine what would’ve happened if he’d picked up the phone in the way he had intended to. “Hi Mikey, this is Frank, go shove a bass up your ass and I’ll call you when Gerard wakes up. Fuck you very much.” The two were great friends, but too much was too much and Frank calmed down enough to make the educated choice. He thanked God he did.

“This is Mr. Iero. Frank Iero. Is this about Bandit?” he asked calmly. Inside, he was screaming. 

“Yes! The paperwork has been run through the system and it appears…” the man, Drew, paused and leaned away from the phone to cough. Frank was partially dead inside already. Gerard peaked his head outside the door frame, due to the lack of screaming at Mikey he was hearing. 

“Sorry about that,” Drew said, scaring the shit out of Frank. “Anyways, I phoned to let you know that you and Mr. Way are now the legal guardians of Bandit! Congratulations, you two. Your advisor, Laurie, I believe, will contact you two with further information. Again, congratulations!”

“T-Thank you!” Frank stuttered. “U-um.. Bye.” He hung up, not knowing what else to say. The phone dropped out of his hands before he could properly set it down, and he turned to face his husband. Gerard looked confused, and still a little sad, as he peeked out from the doorway. Frank’s mouth was still opened a little from the shock and no words were expressive enough to come close to how he felt. 

“What was that about?” Gerard asked quietly. 

“Bandit,” Frank hissed. Gerard stood up straight and stepped out a few feet.

“And?” he questioned, his voice shaky and adolescent.

“She’s ours, Gee. We’re parents!” A smile finally appeared on Frank’s face and then he couldn’t stop smiling, not that he wanted to. He smiled at Gerard flung himself at him, he smiled as the both of them cried with happiness, he smiled as their lips found each other once again and he smiled as the weight lifted off his chest for the first time in many, many months.


End file.
